Will you just look at these breasts..!

Wow.  As soon as I decide to get up off my arse to update this thing it seems like I’ve got a bajillion things that I want to write about, and for once I’m not whinging on about gay marriage.

So – where do we start? Well, I guess the cancelling of Sri Lankan and Afghani refugee visas had me mentally eviscerating Chris Evans for a bit, but I have only just recently recovered from writing a 2,800 word essay about Australia’s mandatory detention policy, so I just do not have the patience or the inclination to elaborate on that.

It’s old news, and if you haven’t taken the time to figure out precisely why it’s a fucking irresponsible and inhumane thing to do then I guess you never will.  I wish that I’d had the time to respond properly to it when it was recent.  The dark Howard days of Temporary Protection Visas and locking up children in prison-like conditions may be over, but that does not mean that we have emerged squeaky clean. The excision of any of the islands and territories off our northern coast (ie: Cocos Islands, Cartier Island, Ashmore Reef and Christmas Island) from our migration zone is still Government policy, thus blocking any undocumented arrivals from applying for a refugee visa  (Except at the discretion of the Minister responsible).  We still excuse our wrongs by claiming that harsh laws discourage boat people and are intended on cracking down on people smuggling, and yet we do nothing to actually assist the human rights crises overseas that actually creates a market for the exploitation of desperate people by people smugglers.  Just because there is no longer bloodshed and fighting in the streets does not mean that conflict is over, or that ethnic Tamils or displaced Afghanis will not be subject to a life of misery and persecution if they return to their home countries.  Bandaid solutions like the aforementioned cancelling of visas will not stop the boats and it will not prevent Afghani or Sri Lankan refugees from seeking asylum in Australia.

Anyway – it is with disappointment that I report that the Government today announced their decision not to introduce a Human Rights act. I’m not convinced about this talk of a ‘framework’  - actually, the Attorney-General’s comments ‘We want to focus on what unites people, rather than divides them’ is setting alarm bells of in my head.  While I totally support legislation that treats everyone with equal rights, respect and opportunities, what I am concerned about is the fact that so often I’ve heard this statement used as an excuse to  ignore existing problems. Sometimes, in order to address inequality, one does need to single out individual groups in order to identify problems within their communities that arise from prejudice and discrimination – not as a means of tokenism or special treatment, but as a means of adequately addressing them. Because – well, there are many differences between human beings, and while we may all be made of the same flesh and blood – it is unfortunately the smallest and most insignificant distinctions between us that will determine our lifestyles, health, opportunities and the way that we are treated by our peers.

I do understand that the proposed model for a Human Rights Act was not perfect – the ability for policy makers to chop and change legislation as they feel suits their needs (Northern Territory Intervention, anyone?) as well as the power that would subsequently be given to judges to decide what does and what does not constitute Human Rights is a little undemocratic. However – despite these problems it would have meant a good deal of progress for Australia. Personally I would prefer a Bill of Rights (which would mean amending our Constitution to change and would affect ALL of our current laws and would establish a mandatory framework around which new laws would have to abide) but I still support this measure. The silver lining in this is that $12 million will go towards human rights education initiatives – so, yay for that at least.

In any case – can someone PLEASE bitchslap George Brandis? Like, seriously – he got me testy when he used Julia Gillard’s parental status as a litmus test for her eligibility to comment on Abbott’s infamous virginity comments, but now I just really really want to inflict great amounts of highly comedic discomfort and humiliation upon him. According to Brandis, K Rudd has been ‘wasting’ taxpayer’s money on something as  silly and frivolous as Human Rights. Yunno George – if you really wanted to call Rudd out on ridiculous and unnecessary government spending, then you might want to give a quick mention to the odd $40 million that they plan to spend on implementing and maintaining the totally unethical and ineffective internet filtering scheme rather than bitching about attempting to protect and respect human rights. Just a little perspective there…

I’m also wondering where he got his stats from, given that an overwhelming majority of the public support the introduction of a Bill or Charter of Human Rights. But then again, Georgie Porgie doesn’t really strike me as being particularly considerate of other people’s experiences or beliefs.  Douchebag.

Speaking of which – I’m wondering whether Tony Abbot is doing this whole Opposition Leadership thing as a Chaser-style dare. Because – from where I’m standing, he’s not really doing much in the way of the whole ‘winning the hearts and minds of the voters’ type thing. Yes, I realise that as a filthy feminist, pro-choice, pro-queer/refugee/indigenous/women’s rights student activist toerag my vote – and those of the majority of my peer group are not ones that he is ever likely to get and he knows that – so he’s focussing more on the older, more conservative electorates. I get that. But – when he comes out with gems like ‘your virginity is a gift‘ and ‘I feel threatened by homosexuality‘ and now ‘No dole for the under 30′s‘  I am actually starting to wonder if he’s just having us on…because with all his anti-choice, catholic, speedo-wearing shenanigens, I’m really having trouble believing that he is actually expecting people to vote for him and is just in the whole thing because he gets his jollies by riling people up. It’s not so much that he’s conservative, I mean hell – we’ve still got doddering old bigots like Bill Heffernen in the Senate, but it’s more the fact that he  seems to be totally incapable from restraining himself from making totally stupid comments in public – like he’s got political tourettes or something. Clever ploy to enrage the lefties and thus further engage the religious right? Likely. A hardline antidote to the public fatigue of KRudd’s policy of all-talk no action? Maybe.  All I know is that he’s got buckleys in the next election, and sadly it’s not because of the outstanding merits of his opponent.

In the spirit of public figures making general asses of themselves, it was with great mirth that I read that a senior Iranian cleric has asserted that immodestly dressed and promiscuous women cause earthquakes. Ya. For real realz. So,it is with a non-too unfamiliar feeling of feminist indignation and great amusement that I am promoting ‘Boobquake.’

Sedighi claims that not dressing modestly causes earthquakes. If so, we should be able to test this claim scientifically….On Monday, April 26th, I will wear the most cleavage-showing shirt I own. Yes, the one usually reserved for a night on the town. I encourage other female skeptics to join me and embrace the supposed supernatural power of their breasts. Or short shorts, if that’s your preferred form of immodesty. With the power of our scandalous bodies combined, we should surely produce an earthquake. If not, I’m sure Sedighi can come up with a rational explanation for why the ground didn’t rumble. And if we really get through to him, maybe it’ll be one involving plate tectonics.

So. Ladies – come April 26th – get the twins out. FOR SCIENCE!

Yes. Yes, I know – it’s frivolous and it’s nothing more than symbolic. But hey – it’s a bit of fun, and  it has spread like wildfire which, to my mind is a good thing. It’s a reminder that not every woman has the privilege of being able to express herself or enjoy bodily autonomy, and for that I am all the more grateful for having been born where I was. It’s also a very strong statement disguised in humor and playfulness: Women’s bodies are no more obscenities than they are earthquake hazard……( Also – boobs are totally awesome. )

Until next time chickees.

~ by soverysmall on April 21, 2010.